A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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Q: Why did the cat roll down the hill? A: It had no legs

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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