What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops