What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops