boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +33

ROSS G IS OBESE

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops