How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

KEVIN HART

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

thumb_up thumb_down +26

minced oaths

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A. Hey.. B. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

newt gingrich

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops