What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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shut up

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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http://anti-joke.com/

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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