What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -33

your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops