what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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