How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Do you know that car over there? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Patrick is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A bar walks into your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +26

cot!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops