Why Sam Vitale gay? Because he loves men!

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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The WNBA.

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An Oldish (probably 27) man walks into a chuck-e cheese, He then puts on his coustume.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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NEVER

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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Will you marry me?

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How much is an abortion? A life

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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