Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...