cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

women leaving the kitchen

a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

A Mormon walks into a bar.

What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

whats worse than flunking math? death.

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

robin, get in the car.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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