Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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Knock knock Come in!

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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