How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

My Girlfriend

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

So this is an anti-joke website, right?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...