The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +46

knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

69

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops