Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

Vagina-Boob

Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

Your Mom

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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