A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Your mom

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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Knock knock Come in!

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a

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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