Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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suck my dick.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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