Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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Sex. That is all.

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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Will you marry me?

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Hummer.

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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The WNBA

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops