What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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penis

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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French people

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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The horse said "nay."

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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The WNBA.

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What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

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Your doorbell is broken.

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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