Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Obama is a good president.

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uio iu o p uoi p ui o p uio p uio p u io p uio p u io p uio p u iop u ok ghjlk hjkl hjkl jkl hj l hjkl kj l jkl hjkl hjlhjlhjkl l jh ot7843646 56 5 6 356 ghj hkj yj fg tj g d g d fgs dfg f sdgfs gdf gh fg dfhg rthgrth gfh fgh gh df h fgh fd hdf gh f hg et y er y ery ery ery r hfg h fb dgh rtu e tu k ryi k tyu e ry7 6 34 65 3 3 657 f g fb bn dfhs ah w t u y u eytu ye iu r6u uy reytkjnld;kafjgdsfjgsd fg sdf ghjsdfkhj sdfhjs dfjh sdf;hjsdjfh;k dfhjsdf hsfdjh sdfjh sdfjhsjdfdjh sdjf h fdhj dfl;jhsjdf hjs dfjh sdjfh sjdf h;ljsdf;lhjs;dlfjh sdfjh sd;fjh;lsdfjh sdfljh sdflhjs df;ljh sdf;hj ;dsfljhsdl;hj sdf;lhjsd fhj fds;lhjsdf ;lhjs d;lfhj df;hj sdfl;hj;ldfsjh ;lsdfhj sd;flhj fdhjsdf ;lhj sdf;lhjsdf;lhj What what in the buttt????????

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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