what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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