Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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Windows Vista

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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