What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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penis that is all

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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women leaving the kitchen

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops