What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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What flys? A fly

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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