What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

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Communism

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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NEVER

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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I am really good at math debating

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YOLO

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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Write your own

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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