A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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The WNBA.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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Womens' rights.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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