What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Adam Sandler.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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cms.......?????

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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Patrick is gay

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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