What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops