While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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