Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

Women

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

Adam Sandler.

What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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