everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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NEVER

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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My mom.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops