Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i love antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down -8

French people

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

thumb_up thumb_down +49

in the begining... god made some stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops