What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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You're so gay you actively seek homosexuals relationships.

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

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The WNBA

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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