'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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Small titties.

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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