What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Chuck Norris died.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops