God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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like facebook.com/john maon

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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Small titties.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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Whats 0+0 0

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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