A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

GAY PEOPLE

thumb_up thumb_down +50

in the begining... god made some stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +38

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops