Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Women's sports.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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potatoes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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