Women

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Adam Sandler.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

69

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops