Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

planking.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Giving birth to the antichrist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops