My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Your mom

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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