What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

hi

Women's sports.

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

Baseball

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

what time is it rape time

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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