How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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Women's rights.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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Someone told me about this website.

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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Your Mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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