I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Womens rights.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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