From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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World peace

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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:-)book

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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