What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +7

BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know George Washington? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops