A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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