Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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hi

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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