Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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potato farming

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dog

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Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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