Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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whats the difference between a battery and a charger

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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