Canada's army

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops