Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Obama-Care

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you know that there is no A is "sodimizing"?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down

This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops