I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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dead babies

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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minced oaths

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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