A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Avery has crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I came.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

planking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops