What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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