Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +39

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Mmmm, donuts

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

thumb_up thumb_down +33

ps3

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

ROSS G IS OBESE

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops