9:11 make a wish

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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