Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

How many dislikes can this get?

josh roberts you speccy cuunt

I cant think of one (._. )

What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

Women's Golf

Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

Someone told me about this website.

How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

A Muslim blows up a bar

Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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